The 12 Types of People You Will Totally See at CMA Fest

CMA Fest is always full of eclectic attendees who all have their quirks and personalities that make them stand out from the crowd in their own unique ways.

The 12 Types of People You Will Totally See at CMA Fest
Photo courtesy CMA

The countdown to CMA Fest is ticking down quick and there’s still so much left to do! Tickets need to be bought, concert schedules still need to be made and don’t even get us started on the whole packing situation. Instead of stressing your life away in the midst of the pre-CMA Fest chaos, take a procrastination break for a hot second to laugh at all the crazy people you’re used to seeing at the annual country music festival.

Here is our list of some of the hilarious types of folks you see out and about during CMA Fest. And if you don’t think you recognize yourself in one of these categories, think again, because we all fall victim to the hustle and bustle of CMA Fest madness.

  1. The free merch moochers

Nothing in life is free…but apparently that concept is blown completely out the window for some attendees at CMA Fest! I mean, why not take 20 samples if they’re just there sitting out in the sun? These people are actually doing the booth workers a favor by taking all of the stuff they put out for use.

  1. People with third-degree sunburns

We have a code red here, literally. We mentioned this in the country music festival post and we’ll say it again: wear some sunscreen, people! Having a nice, golden-brown tan is fun, but when you start to blister, that’s when it’s time to lather up or go home.

  1. Girls wearing ridiculously tall heels all day long

More power to the courageous women out there who take the stand for us all by braving the sticky, uneven sidewalks of Lower Broadway in their gorgeous five-inch Steve Madden stilettos. We see you and we salute you for what you’re doing.

  1. Those who reminisce when it was still “Fan Fair”

If you ever run into one of these folks, they’ll start any conversation with, “Back in my day, this CMA Fest stuff used to have a different name…” Living in the past is such hard business to work with, sometimes. (Side note: these people will talk to anyone unannounced, so keep your eyes out for these folks if you want to avoid a 30-minute conversation about the good ol’ days.)

  1. Parents who use kids as a prop (to get free stuff)

News flash: CMA Fest ain’t no Titanic evacuation where kids go first from the boat. And yet, time and time again, moms and dads alike show their children how much they love them by hoisting them up above the crowd in order to snag an autograph or two. Ah, the joys of being a parent!

  1. Obnoxious fans who use huge objects for autograph material

Just because the artist plays guitar while they’re up on stage does NOT mean you need to bring one for them to sign. Case closed.

  1. The street-corner water vendors

The adult version of starting a lemonade stand, don’t you think? These people may not actually attend the festival, but parking themselves on every street corner of downtown is the most genius idea of CMA Fest yet.

  1. Superfans with their most-prized possession, the meet-and-greet photo album

We get it, pictures or it didn’t happen. That makes sense when you’re in your teenage years and you’re talking about some incredible, life-changing experience. When you hold on to this slogan with your celebrity photo album in tow, it’s time to reevaluate the situation and maybe join Facebook.

  1. Uncontrollable criers

Nobody likes an ugly crier, especially when you’re supposed to be enjoying the show. Seeing your favorite artist can be an emotional ordeal, but save that for the car or hotel. Ain’t nobody got time to wipe the tears away.

  1. The probably-illegal overnight campers

Sure, hotels in Nashville are becoming super expensive. But the solution to build a tent and camp in the middle of a metropolitan area seems a bit of a hazard. As long as these people don’t start busting out their Bear Grylls skills by building a fire from scratch in the middle of Demonbreun and 5th Avenue…

  1. Pedestrian Bridge concert-viewers

Sometimes, ticket prices to the night shows at Nissan Stadium can get a little out-of-hand. But fans in dire need to see the concerts can just pop a squat on the Pedestrian Bridge in order to hear a little bit of each performer. Don’t forget to bring binoculars to be able to catch a glimpse of Luke Bryan shakin’ it!

  1. All the nosebleeders

Some people take the simple road of just sweating when they get too hot and then there’s the bloody nosebleeders. Fellow members of this VIP group can spot each other from miles away with their signature move, the head tilt. (Tissues and stained shirts included in their welcome package.)